Crest Solves Marital Crises Everywhere

Crest has finally come out with a position on that ancient co-habiting dilemma. To quote the back of the tube:

FOR BEST RESULTS, SQUEEZE TUBE FROM THE BOTTOM AND FLATTEN AS YOU GO UP.

Just thought you might like to know.

How I'm Getting Through Today

I must admit that I had a two fisted breakfast this morning. The tall cup was full of Tetley Orange Peakoe tea. I got about a third of the way through it and realized that was not going to be enough. So I made myself a latte with a double shot of espresso. Um, yeah, that was breakfast. Its 9:30 am and already one of those days.

Walls in Children's Books and Shows

Here is the question. Have you ever, in real life, seen a brick or concrete wall standing in the middle of a field? I know I haven't. Yet they are a really common feature in kids' books and tv shows. On old school sesamie street they were a common setting. Everything interesting happened over the ledge of a waist height brick wall. In Hop on Pop, many tall and small people play ball on a wall and then, inexplicably, fall off of said wall. Charlie Brown and Linus' classic place to talk is while leaning on an elbow height wall. Where do these walls come from? What are there purposes? Do they exist in the United States? Is Canada just behind in its field decorating decor? What's with all the extraneous walls?

He's going to be one of THOSE boys.

I grew up as that girl that always got pestered by the boys in school. Perhaps it was the irresistable long red braid. Or the adrenaline of ducking when my feirce temper took hold and I swung around to confront my adversary with flashing green eyes. Or perhaps it is the unfortunate fact that I emit a small, high pitched "ah!" when poked or otherwise startled.

My son, at the ripe old age of 15 months, discovered this entertaining feature of his mother's reflexes. He poked the bit of skin sticking out between my pants and my shirt and I shreiked "ah!" He was exilerated. He ran around to the front of me, eyes ablaze with mischeif and giggled. Then he poked me in the arm and said "ah!". For the last two months, this has been a regular part of our day. Sometimes he actually surprises me. Sometimes he prompts me if I forget to exclaim properly when I see him coming.

I have started telling him that he is a tease, but I didn't really think he understood what I meant. Last week, I was sitting in the computer chair, typing, and he snuck up behind me and poked me in the back. I gave an obligatory startled "ah!". He ran around the chair, grinned and said "Tease."

W . . . W . . . W . . . Willy Waterloo . . .

Okay, so I hate Dr. Seuss' ABC book. Although I enjoy many of his works, this particular book leaves me cold. And do you want to know why? Because the metre is inconsistent, and often aukward. I know that the man wrote a million books, so I should really give him some slack on this front. But his is presently my son's FAVORITE book (next to the evil Disney ABC book I was given "A is for Ariel, buy the Little Mermaid. B is for Belle, buy Beauty and the Beast, too, and the special edition DVD, the Christmas special, the matching stroller, chair, backpack, read-along book, doll, playset and fly to Disneyland to meet the princesses for yourself"), and so i read it a thousand times a day. I was seriously SO annoyed with this that I was thinking about it while sewing last night after my son went to bed.

I think that if you are going to write nonsense verse and take the liberty to invent half of the words and creatures in your work, you should be able to fit them into the metrical structure you have set out for yourself. Its only fair to parents everywhere.

Elizabethtown

If I was still 16, I would rent this movie once a month and watch it with my friends at a sleepover until I had every line and scene memorized. It is that kind of a movie. For those of you who are not that familliar with me, other movies that have had this honour have been : Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, the Matrix, Zoolander, the Royal Tenebaums, Mystery Men . . . a pretty quirky lot of films. It is what Owen Wilson would write if he was a little bit less nihilistic and wanted to do something "cute".

The movie stars Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst, as a couple who serendipidously meet on an airplane on the way to his dad's memorial service. He must wade through family politics to get his dad cremated and brought back to Oregon instead of buried in the family plot in Louisville, Kentucky. On top of this he is dealing with the humiliation of utterly failing to design the next big shoe, and staying at a hotel that has been invaded by a week long frat-style-pre-wedding party. Kirsten Dunst is just a good old southern girl who steals his heart with her charm, her winning smile, and her down to earth take on life.

It has classic scenes, like the one where the main character's cousin's band reunites for his dad's memorial service and releases a giant paper mache bird which lights on fire and sets off the sprinkler system in the hall. Or the scene where the main character becomes buddy buddy with the guy who is holding his week-long pre-wedding bash at his hotel (Chuck and Cindy -- Live Life). Or the one where he shows a room of disobedient children a video in which a brawny construction worker asks "If I blow up this house, will you listen to your mom and dad?"

It is not roll on the ground funny, but it is a quirky and enthralling film. I really enjoyed it, and I'm picky about romantic comedies. So give it a try, you just might like it.

Oh, and if you want to do a double feature of Kirsten Dunst romantic comedies, rent Wimbledon, also a great film. With a great leading man whose acting I love, but whose name I can't remember. Anyway, enjoy.

Saskatchewan Temperment

About a week ago, there was a major fire in a potash mine in southern Saskatchewan. Fortunately, all 72 miners found their way to safe haven areas within the mine and waited out the fire. This was quite an amazing and dramatic story, so of course the media wanted to interview the miners and hear their stories.

I listened to several of these interviews throughout the day on CBC. One was on the local afternoon show and the other was on As It Happens, and as I listened to them, I marvelled at the level headed and relaxed Saskatchewan temperment. Here is an example of my paraphrase of part of the interview:

Interviewer: So, how did it feel to be caught in the mine for 22 hours, waiting to be rescued?

Miner: Well, you know, we knew that we were in a safe place, so it was okay. We got kind of bored after a while, so we played some cards and talked a lot. We weren't that worried.

Interviewer: What about your wife? How did she react?

Miner: I'm on the mine safety board, so she knows all about the safety procedures in the mine, so she wasn't too worried. We could phone out to tell everyone we were okay.

I had to laugh a bit. This was such a dramatic and exciting story, but they couldn't get any juicy emotional tape from anyone. It was all calm, levelheaded responses. No choking back tears. No harrowing stories. Just some guys who happened to make it through a major fire and come out alive. But that's their job, eh. Its not like anyone died or anything, and we get a week off work. Why don't you all calm down and go have a beer already?

I love Canada.

The sum total of my creative output for the week.

I would just like to announce to you all that I have once more begun my quest to be creative. I will attempt to post some of my creative endevours on my blog every week to motivate me and to receive your wonderful praise and adoration (ready Shawn and Kris and Anna? I'm counting on you, my ONLY commenters). Okay, you don't have to actually give me huge accolades or anything, but I think this week you will be amazed at my creative output. I have been SO productive. Who says that having a toddler reduces your time to be creative. Ha. Ready? Set? Here it is:

Avian Acrobatics

There is a small airshow taking place in my back yard the last few days. I don't know what is happening, but the birds are going crazy. There are several hundred of them sitting in the trees all around my neigbourhood. Then as if on cue, they will all start flying around and around in circles back and forth from one tree to another. Its as if they are playing some sort of mysterious bird game, or casting a spell on the trees, or trying to keep the planet rotating properly. I couldn't get a picture of them in mid-flight, because there are too many trees in the background for you to see them, but here's a few shots that will give you an idea of the number of birds I'm talking about.