Friday, October 14, 2005


So, my town has a city - wide playgroup. This is great, because everyone puts in a nominal fee and gets to bring their kids to a big gym with lots of toys once a week. In winter it helps the kids blow off steam and the parents get out of the house. There is tea / coffee / hot chocolate for the moms and a snack and crafts for the kids. I love the idea of a citywide playgroup.

But the reality is that there are about 20 - 25 moms there. Most of them have grown up together / go to the same church / are Kinettes. So they know each other already. They know everyone in town. They like to sit together and gossip about other people in town and talk about whatever. The problem is that it makes it hard for new moms to break into the group. There is a small group of new moms that kind of hover around the edges. We stand like the kid who wasn't picked for either team of the soccer game, watching our little tot play, and hope someone will come over and talk to us. We hover over our child while they do their craft, thinking that maybe the mom next to us will spark up a conversation. Sometimes we even try to talk to each other.

But in such a huge setting, with so many kids and so much going on, how does one get beyond "how old is your baby / tot?" and "so how long have you lived in Melfort?". It is difficult to have a meanigful conversation and really get to know anyone. For me, as an intense, highly emotional kind of person, this small talk just doesn't cut it. I crave more. I need to really get to know people.

So, I have decided to start taking surveys every week. I will develop a list of non-mom oriented questions (since I suck at talking about being a mom -- have you noticed?) and ask them to everyone each week. I figure that maybe this will get people talking about non - mommish, non - did-you-hear-what-bob-did-last-week topics. Maybe it might even spark, God forbid, a CONVERSATION.

So, dear readers (I realize you are few and far between, but help me out here), give me some questions. Next week is "what is your favoirite genre of movie? Your all time favorite movie?". I will see what happens and get back to you. Maybe it will be fun. Maybe I'll just get weird stares. Maybe I will be completely shunned and forced to leave playgroup.


donna said...

Hey Jilly - Donna here, I'm enjoying your blog - just remembered it again - I have a question you could ask at your play group (especially in a small prairie town) how's your garden? what did you grow? what do you do with all that zucchini?
I live in a not too much larger Prairie town, am slightly older (not that we're saying how much older) and find that the challenges of begining again in a new town is pretty much the same the world over. So you could also ask "yu laik gro wanem long gaden bilong yu?" enjoy your wee one - D

Kristen Springthorpe said...

Hey Jill,

Thought I'd try this again and see if they would let me comment to you! Aside from the "what would you and your husband do if you could get a weekend babysitter?" I would ask "what would you most like to do in your freetime/selfishtime/justbyyourselftime (as if there was such a thing with a 1 yr old!)