Abstract of my Vacation posts.

The next three posts after this are my vacation seperated out like I tend to seperate things in my travel diaries. I divide my days (in this case my whole vacation) into higlights, lowlights and reflections. I find it a clear and precise way to remember the most important and funny things that happened.

A breif overview of our trip would look like this: We left on a Tuesday morning and tented our way out to B.C. Then we stayed at the Wagners' lovely home for about 2 weeks in their basement. They were on vacation when we arrived, and then they came home in the middle of our time there. During this time we visited a lot. Then we stayed with Brian and Jean Butcher and their 6 children in Langley for a few days and visited with them and made little side trips here and there. On Sunday morning we met up with our friends Shawn and Nonie Lynn and their two kids and went on the ferry over to Vancouver Island to visit our friends the Smyths (we used to be a "set" -- Chapmans, Lynns, Smyths = great party). The Lynns could only stay for one day, but we stayed until Wed. Then we drove to Salmon Arm and caught the Saturday of the Roots and Blues Musci Festival. After that we drove home, camping or staying with friends of friends. Dave picked up his new motorcycle in Calgary and Andrew and I drove in the car by ourselves the last two days (well, with new baby who kicked a lot). That will put the posts below in context.

Trip Highlights

Driving through the Rocky and Kootenay mountains. You all must do it at least once in your lifetime.

Staying in the Wagners' amazing house for 4 days by ourselves. Talk about luxury accomodations.

Hanging out with great friends: the Lynns, Allie and her mom Patricia, Aggie, Szabolcs, Melissa (too short of a visit), Rita and Jer, the Wagners, the Butchers, etc, etc.

Watching my son gradually warm up to my friends' children and play with them.

Having my belly expand so much one week that I could feel my child pushing against me, demanding more space for his or her rapidly growing frame. I literally had 3 days where I felt like someone had put a balloon inside of me and they were going to blow it up until I burst. Feeling this new, enthusiastic life rolling and kicking and punching through our many car rides and visits.

Starbucks. Oh, how I have missed my lattes and tazo frappuccinos.

Ikea. We really need to bring trailer next time we go to an Ikea . . . Sigh.

Eating great foreign food. Seeing people who weren't white. Hearing other languages swirling around me. Checking out the Indian fabric stores and touching the silks and cottons and polyesters and brocades. So much sight, sound and culture to experience everywhere.

The ocean. When we drove into Twassen to get on the ferry to Vancouver Island and I smelled the fishy, salty sea air I almost wept.

Travelling on the ferry with the Lynns, and staying in a hotel in the room next to them and eating the free continental breakfast together. We pushed two little tables together and loaded up on free food. It was so surreal and fun. Especially now that we have three and a half kids between us.

Cowichan Bay, this lovely little seaside port town on the east coast of Vancouver island with a harbour, a view of Saltspring across the channel and really cool and funky shops and resteraunts (fresh organic bread, anyone?).

The big pile of sand they brought in for the Salmon Arm Roots and Blues Festival that kept Andrew happy all day. Also this amazing workshop with Feist, Hocksley Workman and this up-and-coming new yorker named Jennie Starr. Fantastic -- the whole crowd was dancing by the end.

Also, just soaking in a day of great, interesting music, including Iranian Tabla, blues, Finnish fiddle, fantastic young singer / songwriters, raegae and calypso. And watching the fascinating feast of people who attend folk festivals -- all in their folkiest finery. My favorite was the big, bare chested man with a pirate like beard, shoulder length dreadlocks and a kacki kilt. Where else are you going to see that (or indeed, where else would you ever want to see it?). Then after a day of being baked in the sun and overstimulated until your rational faculties are beaten to a fine pulp, sitting in the cool evening listening to an amazing musician (Feist again in this case -- she is a great performer) who has the ability to burn her music into your now defenseless psyche. Then following this with a hot chocolate at Tim Hortons while discussing the intersection of Hippie idealism, Postmodernism and Christianity (that is another post all together).

Staying with this wonderful, warm and hospitable missionary couple from Japan in Canmore, Alberta. Despite their weak English and our inability to speak Japanese, we really enjoyed our time with them. It was a little oasis of warmth and humanity in the midst of a very long drive home. Such good people.

Watching my husband enjoy driving his new Suzuki VStrom home from Calgary, and seeing my son's eyes go big every time he said "Daddy driving a MOTORCYCLE".

Finally driving the familliar 2 hrs from Saskatoon to our home, soaking in the beautiful colours of the ripened wheat and canola, smiling at ever-shifting and beatiful big, big sky and feeling glad to be home at last.

Trip Lowlights

Here they are, in order:

- camping in Cereal, AB our first night. Imagine a small prairie town with a closed gas / resteraunt store, a trucker's cardlock and a very empty city-run camping park as the only things on the highway. Your family is the only one camping in the campsite. The sky is dark as thunderstorms roll by on both sides of your campground. You husband decides that he needs to go and check out the town, leaving you and your toddler alone in this campground, feeling like the masked chain saw murderer must be about to appear out of the trees behind you at any moment . . .

-the third day of our car trip to B.C. when Andrew had a 40 min. screaming fit during which he was unconsolable and we had to get out of the car and walk him on the side of the highway and a trucker almost stopped because he thought we were hurt, then finally I had to put him back in his chair, pin down his flailing arms and force him to drink water until he calmed down and went to sleep.

- the second week of our trip, which was supposed to be devoted to relaxing and visiting. Instead we all got the stomach flu and had to cancel everything so we didn't pass it around.

- the many meltdowns Andrew had in the third week of our trip when we had to condense all the visits we had planned to do over two weeks into about 4 days.

- ending up caught in the middle of one of our friends' ongoing marital disputes.

- leaving all Andrew's toys at the Salmon Arm Roots and Blues festival and not having them turned in to lost and found the next day.

- driving through rush hour in Calgary after Dave picked up his motorbike with a fussy toddler in the back and a kicking baby in my belly and, well, rush hour traffic. Nothing like trying to turn around in the driver's seat while pregnant enough that you no longer have your full range of motion to try to retrieve a toy or sippy cup at a red light.

Trip Reflections

The most amazing thing about our trip was that we were really glad to get home. I was worried when we left for B.C., becuase I was feeling like I had finally settled in Saskatchewan. I was afraid that going back to see all my friends and all that beauty would lead me to become dissatisfied when I got back. But it didn't. I realized that where you are at personally and in your family life is way more important to happiness than where you live geographically. I have really spent the last year and a half trying to learn how to live a life of order, discipline and contentment, to make my years as a homemaker and mom somewhat monastic in nature. And although I miss my friends, and Starbucks coffee, and Olympic organic French Vanilla yogurt and the mountains, I don't miss eating at least a meal a day in the car, driving for 2 - 3 hrs a day, and feeling hurried and hectic all the time. I rather like the slow, meditative pace of my life here.

This was something that I had to work through, though. I had a few days of mourning for my old life, where I was running an all different directions, and had the freedom to pick up new activities and hobbies and friends whenever I wanted to. I miss being able to run or excersise every day or two. I miss having the time to act and direct. I miss my summer Mondays, when I used to bike 40 min. across Langley to see the 2 pm matinee (whatever it was that day), then bike to Chapters and have a coffee and read books, then wander around the mall (while trying to avoid the fact that I had to go back up the killer hill to get to my house), and finally going home. I miss trekking down to Ethical Addictions (a fair trade coffee shop) to soak up the alternative youth culture and write or draw or just sit and listen to whoever was playing on a Thursday or Friday night. I miss just being able to go somewhere and do something fun without having to make sure I have diapers, wipes, food, toys, appropriate clothing and footwear for my child, and then chase a boy around the house trying to get him ready to go and possibly squeak in a moment to brush my hair and put on mascara before I run out the door and off to whatever. I miss having my fully functioning brain. But this is a short and precious time in my life and I have decided that the best thing I can do is savour it, just as I did that time of freedom and fun.

The other cool thing was that with most of my friends, it was like I had never left. I just walked right backinto these wonderful relationships with people as though I had just seen them yesterday. I was sad that I had missed some really exciting and some really sad events in people's lives, but I appreciated the fact that I still had the same friendship with them.

The third thing that really struck me is how little time I've been spending in meditation and prayer since I moved out here. I know this largely has to do with having a child who doesn't sleep much. But I feel like I've lost my close connection to God, and thus a lot of my impact on other people. So one of the goals that comes out of my vacation is to set up my Jesus corner again somewhere in the house and spend time there at least twice a week.

This is just for Shawn

All right, so I am home from my holidays. Its just that I"m going away again in 4 days, and I have a tree full of apples to pick and do something with, and zucchini (oh, the zucchini -- they deserve and will eventually receive a post all to themselves) to eat / bake up and unpacking and re-packing and youth group stuff to attend to before we go (I should really be making newsletters right now, Shawn) and so I don't have time to do proper justice to the adventure that was my month long road trip / visit to B.C with toddler in tow. And I really must do it proper justice, because so many fantastic and funny things happened. So stay tuned, when I get a chance to breathe I will write more. But for now I must make apple butter and youth group newsletters. I've been blogging in my head all month, and I shall commit some of those fascinating thoughts to . . . paper? . . . as soon as I get the chance. Promise.

Jill's Not In Right Now, But Please Leave a Message . . .

Well, my faithful readers ( all four of you -- its so exciting when you can double your readership), I am off on holidays. In just one day we will be setting out on a month long adventure to British Columbia. It should be great to reconnect with friends and family out there, and I can't wait to see the mountains and the ocean again, and introduce my son to tide pools and beach combing.

It will be kind of strange, becuase I've changed so much since I was last there. I've grown my hair, become a mom (I was technically a mom when I left, but 6 weeks into momhood does not equal identity change, it just equals a blank, bleary-eyed stare), a minister's wife, and a resident of Saskatchewan. How can I possibly sum up my experiences in a few hours' visit? Especially since many of my friends have had similar changes -- some have moved, others had more children, or become pregnant, or changed jobs or left a marriage. It makes me sort of nervous.

But then I remind myself that true friendships are based on something simultaneously more solid and more insubstantial than these things. They are based on a connection of two souls, a delight and interest in another person, and a desire to enter into their world: their thoughts, experiences and emotions. And this connection will still be there, no matter how we change on the surface, no matter what happens in between visits.

And then I am excited to go back and rediscover the parts of myself that I left with these people and totally fogot about. For me, visiting old friends is like going to the Lost and Found. I always realize "Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that . . . that is a part of me. That is how I was, how I still am somewhere in here. These are the things I liked to do when I was here or there." Its like picking up lost fragments of your past and clicking them into place, seeing yourself through the eyes of the past. And I love that.

Also, generally speaking, it is like going to the Lost and Found because I have inevitably left something at their house . . .

Have a good month, everyone. Talk to you in Sept.

Favorite Things About Late July

Coming from British Columbia, you get used to seeing an array of exotic plants blooming all through the year from Feb. right through to about November. Here in Central Saskatchewan, the variety is more limited. There are blooming things from about May to September or maybe October, and then there is snow. But to compensate for this, there are some really beautiful things that bloom in those months. Here are a few of my favorite Saskatchewan perennials:

The Lilly. The reddish orange lilly is Saskatchewan's provincial flower, and a version of it grows wild in the bush. I've seen them around Emma Lake and they are lovely. These domesticated ones do well, and are spectacular for several weeks.

The Hollyhock. These particular ones were about 7 ft tall, and the flowers are bigger than my hand. I know they came from England, but they always look to me like they arrived from another planet.

The daisy. Not an exotic or rare plant, but here they grow in huge, glorious wild mounds. Our entire front garden consists of mounds of daisies, a peony and a wild pink rose. The dasies bloom atleast twice if they are cut back, need very little care and zero extra watering, except during heat waves. What could be better for a sad and sorry gardener like myself?

Exciting News!

Before I get to the exciting news, thanks ladies for your nice comments about my blog. I was so flattered I couldn't write anything for a week (so much for me being such a regular blogger, Anna!). Also Andrew is still not sleeping and Dave is thinking of buying a motorbike, so all the free evening computer time is taken up with "research".

All right, drum roll, please . . . .

I am expecting baby #2!! Some in late Jan. or early Feb. I will be parenting two children. A newborn and a 2 and a half year old.

Am I terrified? Yes. I keep thinking, "What if its twins? What if this baby is also colicy / fussy / demanding like Andrew was? Will I survive? Will Andrew survive? How will I deal with a newborn when it takes 3 hours to get my toddler to sleep at night?" and on and on and on.

Am I excited? Yes. I wanted to have my children close together (possibly even closer than this) so that they could grow up together -- something I didn't have a chance to do -- and so that I would get all the baby and toddler insanity over with in one fell swoop and then go back to work when they're all in school. And the thought of bringing another amazing person into the world and watching them blossom into this fascinating and unique individual is thrilling.

So I am scared and excited and , well, very tired all at the same time.

Adventures in Marinating

At the grocery store on Wed, I bought some Ziploc bags to marinate some marinating steak to put on the bbq. Yesterday, I thawed out the steaks, and mixed up the marinade (lemon juice, canola / olive oil blend and chopped garlic -- delicious). I slid the steaks into two bags and in a moment of unusual fortune and foresight, decided to pour the marinade into the bags over the sink. I poured it in, and noticed that the oil was leaking out everywhere from one of the bags. I quickly tossed it in the sink and started cleaning up the mess. Which is when I noticed that the OTHER bag was also leaking. To have one Ziploc bag leak is unusual. To have two leaking from the same box is almost unheard of. It wasn't just a little leak -- it was almost as though the marinade was sweating off of the bags. Quickly, I grabbed a reasonable sized container from my plastic cupboard and dumped the steaks and the remainder of the marinade into it.

I wondered what was happeneing, but I didn't really have time to check at that moment becuase I had an awful lot of oil to clean off of the floor, the dishes in the sink, the sink, the counter, and myself. Today, however, I checked the box of "Double Zipper Vegetable Bags", It has the following helpful explanation on the side: "To keep vegetables fresh, you need to maintain the right amount of moisture. Otherwise, they get too dry or soggy. Ziploc Vegetable bags help maintain the right moisture balance. There are hundreds of freshness vents (micro holes) on every bag. They are designed to let excess moisture out while holding the right amount in, so your vegetables stay fresher, longer." Oops.

Things I'm Loving about Summer in Saskatchewan

(in the order they occur to me, not in order of importance)

1. Feeding the birds. Our neighbourhood birds are now tame enough that they will land on our feeder even if we are sitting 3 or 4 ft away. Its pretty fun to watch them.

2. Feeding the red squirrel. The squirrel actually gave Andrew and I a lecture the other day for being in his way when he was trying to get to the food. There is nothing quite so amusing as watching your toddler watch a squirrel perched on an 8 foot fence post chatter and squalk at him. I explained what I thought the squirrel was trying to say, and now whenever Andrew sees the squirrel he says "Squirrel wants eat!"

3. Building castle walls. We bought a big bucket of sand toys this spring for Death's Sandbox (see post of that title). I bought this particular bucket because it has molds for a castle wall, a round turret and a square keep. Its pretty cool. I showed Andrew how to build castle walls. Once every couple of days he wanders over to me and says "mommy build castle walls". I go and attempt to construct a castle out of the sand molds. Andrew helps me pat the sand down, watches with delight as I pull the mold off the wall, and then crushes it. Its a pretty fun game.

4. My garden. I am actually growing vegetables. I am sure this amazes you all, but I ate spinach out of my garden tonight, my carrots have leaves, my sunflowers are about a foot high, and my zucchini plants have about 5 or 6 leaves each. I was really excited the other day and said to Dave, "look, Dave, my garden is growing!". He responded, "That's what happens when you actually plant one, Jill". Ha ha.

5. The mosquitos. Who doesn't appreciate this fine insect. I love the humm of them as they swarm around my head. I love watching them land on my son's face so that I have to rush over to him to try and smack it away, and instead end up making him nervous. I love the constant burn of mosquito bites on my legs because, while I am very dilligent about putting bug repellant on my son, I tend to foget myself. (um, yeah, this one is meant to be sarcastic).

6. The park. What a brilliant way to amuse my child. I wander around after him and comment on his activity, and he wears himself out. Its great most days. His favorite activity at present (ironically enough) is the swings. He likes them because they are facing the four way stop just outside of the park, and a fairly major (by our town's standards) road -- not Main St, but a fairly main road -- intesects there. So he gets to have a ride and watch all the cars and trucks and people go by. Its perfect. And a great arm workout for me.

7. The barbeque. My husband eagerly offers to cook on it. Everything tastes great grilled. THere are no pots and pans. How can I not love that?

8. I can wear shorts and no socks without social ridicule or risk or frostbite. I really am not a big fan of socks. Unless someone is expected at out house (in which case my husband likes me to be civilized and wear socks) I go barefoot in the house all winter long. I have really hot feet, and they like to breathe. I also hate having my legs covered. It aggrivates me. I can't really explain this, but it is a fact. Also, I love my ankles -- I have decided I should have been born in the Victorian era because I have damn good ankles.

9. Walks. Walks keep my son and I on good terms. He gets a much needed break from activity (which he will only otherwise take in front of the television or when I'm reading to him) and I get a break from his constant need for attention and stimulation. How can this not be a win-win?

10. Hair. My hair looks redder from all the sun in the summer. I know most red heads hate this, but I love my hair. Since the birth of my son, the middle of my body is all squishy, but at least I have great hair and great ankles.

11. Hats. Okay, so I wear a variety of hats all year, because I have a number of very cool hats. But summer sun mixed with fair skin is a particularly good excuse for a great hat.

12. Watermelon. Nuff said.

Hope you are enjoying summer as much as we are.

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream . . .

When will my son learn to sleep? Many people I know with almost - two - year - olds have children that sleep. Some of them even have kids that put themselves to bed at night, or tell their parents when they want to sleep.

We had about 2 glorious weeks of sleep, when my son would say "go sleep now" and we would happily go off to bed and "quickly" (for Andrew that means in under two hours) fall asleep. Unfortunately Dave's watch broke. And we were invited for two evening visits in the same week. And since he had no watch and he was busy being interested in the people we were visiting, our whining son and my many reminders of "we really need to be going" just didn't sink in. So he stopped beleiving that mommy would put him to bed when he was tired and he could peacefully fall to sleep. So he stopped sleeping again.

Now, instead of Andrew falling asleep right around 9 on the dot, he is falling asleep closer to 11. This is after the usual bath - stories - nursing and songs and backrubs routine, followed by any number of other "essential" bedtime things, such as the backpack ride with mom when she needs to get things done, the car ride with dad, the stroller ride if Dad has the car, the cuddle stories in bed, the late night snacks, the "I give up just go and play while I ignore you and do something on the internet" times, and, my favorite -- the time when I marched our bleary eyed but not sleeping son into the study and passed him off to Dad, saying "I have put this child to sleep for 21 months now. I have woke with him in the middle of the night and every morning. It is your turn to deal with him." Its one of those times when you have a nice, peaceful night and you think "aha! I have it now!" only to find that it only worked that night . . . and never works again.

Ah well, in a few years I can just put him in bed and he can pretend to sleep when he thinks I'm there and read in bed with a flashlight or the light from his closet which is cleverly attatched to a long string so that it can be activated from his bed . . . not that I have any experience with such things. The point is, eventually he can not sleep and bother no one but himself. Inevitably by that time I will no longer have babies and toddlers in the house and so I will also be prowling around late at night sewing, writing, emailing, and otherwise getting up to mischeif. Hey, wait a minute . . . maybe there's something to that whole genetics thing.

Graham Crackers

My friend Lisa sent me this email today (this was the whole thing) and I thought it was so great I had to post it for all to enjoy:

I got these No Name graham crackers, thinking they’d be inexpensive replicas of the Mr. Christie brand or whatever the usual brand is. You know, the nice dense crunchy ones that are hard enough that when you dunk them in milk they retain their solidity long enough for you to eat it? How can you go wrong saving $0.75?! So you know how some crackers like Stoned Wheat Thins have perforations to make it easier to break them? Well, these ones are about 2”x5” and the perforation is down the length of them, so I tried cracking one in half and it turns out the “perforation” is fake! It’s just a line they impressed lightly on the surface to fool the consumers and the cracker, being inferior quality, actually shatters and you get cracker crumbs in your keyboard and all over your desk and clothes when you eat it at work! And dunking is out of the question because it instantly disintegrates and falls apart into your milk! So the moral of my story is, don’t waste your time or money on No Name graham crackers. Or Select brand sweetened condensed milk vs Eagle brand, but I won’t go into that story.

Land of the Very Late Night Sun

It is 10:30 as I write this, and the sky is still the deep blue you get just after the sun has set. Although we are not far enough to get the midnight sun, we come pretty close at this time of year. Yesterday morning, when I was awake with my toddler at 3am (don't ask), the sky was a rosy pre-dawn colour. This means that at present we are getting about 5 hrs of night time and 19 hrs of daylight. You can imagine how difficult this makes it to put young children to bed, or to think of going to bed "early" at 10, when it is still light.

My Favorite Recent Kids' Book Anacronism

For those of you who did not have teachers that made you look up and memorize common literary terminoloty in highschool (if you're taking an English degree, boys and girls, learn them. Being able to properly use the term "anacronism" will wow an English prof even more than actually knowing what "nihilism" is. Of course, regularly referring to nihilism will impress your fellow first year students, so I guess it all depends on wether you want university street cred or just good marks.), anacronism means something that is out of context chronologically. For example, Shakespeare has a character who is supposed to be in the dark ages referring to spectacles in one of his works. In this context, I am using it to mean something slightly different -- something that would have been normal in the time the book was written but is out of place when we read the book now. Is there a word for that? If so, someone please tell me and I will eagerly add it to my list of words I now use to impress highschool English students with my scholarlyness (since I obviously can't count on my spelling to do the job).

Anyway, all that to say that we just got a book about trucks from the library yesterday. There is this one page, where a woman is driving a pick up with a plow on the front, and she is driving past the guys who are grating the roads after a snowstorm. In the first picture they are all just driving, pushing snow. In the second picture she is winking, and the guys are grinning. It totally cracked me up. I love picture books from those crazy '60's.

Sunflowers 1

On the May long weekend we planted sunflowers. It was pretty fun. I spent a few days digging up the soil while Andrew followed after me insisting that he needed to "see shed! see shed!" "After mommy digs one more row of dirt we will see the shed".



Then we got out the sunflower seeds and planted them along the edge of the garden. I made holes for the seeds and tried to convince Andrew to put the seeds in the holes. Some ended up in the garden. Some are in the decorative brick that lives mysteriously next to the garden. Some are in the lawn. Some, I am sure, are in the shed. But about 8 are in the garden. Updates will follow when we see some action.

The Shed

My son's latest obsession is our shed. At least twice a day we have to unlock the shed, open up the doors and look at all the tools. We pull out the rakes, the shovels, and the spade and try them all out on the lawn. We identify the clippers, the lobbers, the gas can, the power trimmer and the lawn mower. We once more affirm that the axe is too sharp to be held by 21 month old boys. He pulls out assorted bits of wood and bangs them on things. Then we put everything back, and close the doors. As the doors are just about to be locked, my son stops, turns around and demands "See Shed Again", and we do it all over again. And again.

A related obsession is the one with cutting grass. When my husband mows the lawn, he must be in our sight at all times so my son can watch the power trimmer and lawn mower. If a power trimmer is heard, we must find it. My son is starting to learn that if we can't see it, it is "too far 'way". Any long stick-like object in my house (brooms, poppers, window scrapers) has now become a power trimmer. The other morning, after the lawn had been mowed, we had a lengthy discussion about the process (I have cut out my "yes"es for brevity):

"Dad use power trimmer."
"Dad use power trimmer cut grass."
"Dad put gas in lawn mower."
"Dad use lawn mower cut grass."
"Dad cutting the grass."
"Power trimmer go "voom, voom"".

I hope and pray that Chapman's Lawn Care is not hereditary.

Masterpiece Picturebook Theatre

You know how when you watch some of those old movies on Masterpiece theatre, you realize how times have changed in the last 40 or 50 years? Well, I'm finding that the same is true of kids' picture books. Let me give you a few examples of classic moments I've discovered in classic picture books.

"Madeline and the Bad Hat" -- what would you think this book would be about? Perhaps Madeline's fashion faux pas? Madeline's adventures shopping in Paris? No, sir. The Bad Hat referred to in the title is Pepito, the bratty son of the Spanish Ambassador who moves in next door. I guess a Bad Hat is someone who misbehaves.

"Madeline and the Gypsies" -- aside from the fact that you would never find a modern book with this title, there is the plot. Madeline and the now reformed Pepito (see above) are kidnapped by gypsies. When Miss Clavel finds out and tries to rescue them, they are sewn into the skin of a lion. Which would be very uncomfortable, impractical and well, wouldn't really work. The gypsies, although not particularly villainish are well, gypsies, and so are simply doing what gypsies do -- steal small children and tour around the country using them as circus perfomers.

"Curious George" -- have you looked at this classic from 1947 recently? I'm amazed animal rights activists even allow it to be reprinted. No only is George stolen from the jungle by the Man with the Yellow Hat, he is then left to roam about and jump off of a steamer ship. When he gets back to the city, he and the Man with the Yellow Hat have a meal (including wine) and a smoke. It seriously says something along the lines of "After some supper, and a pipe, and a good night sleep, George felt much better". After this George creates untold mischeif and chaos in the city (of course) and is then placed into a happy place -- a zoo.

"Curious George Takes a Job" -- after escaping from the zoo (he steals the zookeeper's keys while the zookeeer is -- you guessed it -- lighting his pipe), George finds himself a job washing windows. Essentially, because he is a monkey, he has no need of a scaffolding or safety belt -- instead he just hangs off the sill with a squeegee in one hand and a bucket hanging from a belt around his waist. After getting too curious and doing the George version of "While You Were Out" on a lady's house (he paints a jungle in her living room while the painters go our for lunch) he jumps off the fire escape and breaks his leg on the pavement below. Then when the story breaks in the newspaper, the Man with the Yellow Hat finds him. But not before he has an interesting experience with a bottle of ether (George felt dizzy. Then he saw stars and swirls. After this George felt like he was flying. Then everything went dark.). The Man with the Yellow Hat decided that he has not capitalized enough on his stolen imported monkey, so he signs a movie contract on George's behalf and makes a movie about his life. My favorite picture in this part of the book is one where George sits, blissfully happy and unaware, on the lap of the MWTYH while he and the movie producer smoke fat cigars and smile contentedly.

"Curious George and the Animal Rights Activists" -- oh, sorry, this book wasn't really written. But I'm sure we can all imagine what adventures that curious little monkey could get up to with his new friends, the animal rights activists, who rescue him from his new home, the cosmetics testing laboratory, where the Man with theYellow Hat has put him when he imports his latest pet -- Annie the Lemur -- and pays for his expenses by selling George.

These are my favorite examples of very dated, but still delightful, children's literature. My son LOVES these books and asks for them every time we go to the library. And I oblige him, because I like them better than the insipid childrens' books from the 80s with titles like "Jackie Learns About Sharing" or "The Bully". And after all, the first time I read the Old Testament as an adult, I was way more shocked by what I found than these few tidbits I've discovered in these classics. Seriously, read the whole book of Judges some time.

Kraft Dinner

So, I'm just doing some nutritional slumming today and eating kraft dinner for lunch (for those of you in the US, that would be the inferior non-Kraft brand maccaroni and cheese), and it reminded me of a funny story. I think of this every time I make Kraft dinner.

I used to work at this garden centre, and I was the only white employee there (and the only one born in Canada). The family that ran the place was from Taiwan, and the other employees were all from India. I usually made and ate my lunch in the office with the Taiwaneese family.

One day I was in a hurry, and didn't want to bother making a sandwich, so I grabbed a pot, a box of KD, and a little container with some milk and butter. At lunch time, my boss was curious because I was boiling some water on her hotplate. She became even more interested when I took out a box and dumped some noodles into the pot. By the time the noodles were boiled, she and a family friend who hung out at the garden centre when he was in Canada came to watch what I was going to make. I explained to them that this was the Canadian version of instant noodles, and they ooed and aahed as I took out the butter and the milk, and they watched me mix it all together. I told them I had enough that they could try some, and you could see them getting more and more excited.

Then I took out the instant cheese packet and dumped it into the pot. Their faces fell. They were dismayed and a little bit disgusted that I had put powdered cheese on the noodles. I asked them if they wanted any.

My boss shook her head and said, "Ah, Jill, you forget. I'm a good Buddhist. I don't eat cheese." She and her friend walked away, shaking their heads and chatting in Mandarin. So much for intercultural understanding and experimentation.

The Tally

Yesterday, my son managed to waste quite a lot of food. Aside from the food that he requested ("I need 'nanas"), carried around the kitchen and left in unusual places (on the bottom shelf of the fridge just next to the yogurt -- "I need yoegurt"), he also managed to squander food as a result of general toddler curiosity. This peaked during the time I was trying to make supper. He pulled the apple juice out of the fridge and I grabbed it and put it on the counter. Then he knocked his booster seat off of its chair, climbed onto the chair and then onto the table. He emptied about 4 Tbsp of salt onto the table before I caught him mixing it with the juice left in his sippy cup. After I removed him from the table and cleaned up this mess, he pulled a chair up to the counter and, you guessed it, grabbed the juice container and emptied it onto the counter. I took the hand tea towel and mopped up the apple juice. I went to throw the soaking tea towel into the laundry bin in the laundry room (10 steps away from the kitchen). By the time I got back, he had managed to get the eggs out of the top shelf in the door of the fridge, remove two eggs, crack one on the floor and open the top of the other. He was poking the contents of the egg in his hand. He looked up at me happily and said "egg". I removed the egg from his hand, trying to remind myself that he's just being a healthy, curious toddler, and snatched the placemats off the table to mop up the other egg. By the time I had come back he had managed to smear the second egg all over his hands, the floor, and the nearby stack of empty yogurt containers he had tossed out of my cupboards earlier in the day. It was at this point that I decided that I was not making a stir fry after all, but rather baking some chicken, putting some rice and some frozen vegetables in pots to boil, and reading "Richard Scary's Busiest People Ever" for the thousandth time that day. After all, reading about Huckle and Lowly's busy day AGAIN was easier than cleaning up after Andrew's busy day.

Someone Please Explain . . .

I walk by this trailer once or twice a week as I go to the grocery store. And I always wonder: Is this mysteriously cloaked figure death? If so, why is he holding his head in his hand? And how is he looking at it? Or if he is a non-skeletal, etherial death figure, who is he talking to? Is he supposed to be holding the skull in a threatening way? He looks more like he's having an amiable chat. Is this his friend? His cute sidekick, Skully? Maybe he's looking at it in surprise or curiosity. But surely this is not the first skull he's ever seen. After all, he IS death. Perhaps this skull is the missing evolutionary link. Or has gold teeth. Or a particularly interesting eye socket.

In any case, I always have a little chuckle when I pass by this terrifying visage. I think his brother probably drew it for him, or his best friend in highschool. And they had been talking about getting it painted on the side of the trailer for years before they actually had the extra cash to do it. And he's probably really proud of it and thinks its the best thing ever.

Its like those vans with the unicorns and mermaids painted all over them, or the majestic elks staring at the sunset on the back window. You have to wonder: are they for real?