Sorry for my absence from this space, friends. We have had two wonderful visits in the last two weeks from out of town friends, and a large stack of unfinished seat work arrived home in the homework folder this Thursday, and we're trying to sort out child care for our younger two for January. This means I'm confronting the reality that yes, I actually am going to put my children in day care and no, this is not something I ever thought I would do. There is nothing like hitting that wall where you are about to do something that clashes with your high ideals of parenthood and draws out some of your greatest fears about your children being damaged by other people all at once. Conversely, I am asking myself if my children wouldn't be better off being parented by someone else. Maybe that way they won't have huge stacks of unfinished work sent home from school with them, as they will actually be able to follow instructions and work within an organized system like school.
There is nothing like a huge dose of mommy guilt to keep you blue.
In other news, it has somehow got around my church already that I sew, and they are looking for some hand made goods to auction off for a good cause. I have very carefully agreed to make a little something without over committing myself. Unfortunately I should have known what would happen when I started making two little dolls, one for Emma and one for auction. Word would get around that dolls were being made and then I would have three . . . and then four dolls to make. Ah well. They give me something to do besides be paralyzed with worry and guilt.
We did have two lovely visits, though. I am so happy to be in a place where we feel like we have a great space to invite people to (even if they may have to sleep on the kitchen floor). I do love entertaining, so I am happy to be able to have people over more.
Well, I must go off and play "in" to the container, "out" of the container for the 100th time while I still have the time.