Crest Solves Marital Crises Everywhere

Crest has finally come out with a position on that ancient co-habiting dilemma. To quote the back of the tube:

FOR BEST RESULTS, SQUEEZE TUBE FROM THE BOTTOM AND FLATTEN AS YOU GO UP.

Just thought you might like to know.

How I'm Getting Through Today

I must admit that I had a two fisted breakfast this morning. The tall cup was full of Tetley Orange Peakoe tea. I got about a third of the way through it and realized that was not going to be enough. So I made myself a latte with a double shot of espresso. Um, yeah, that was breakfast. Its 9:30 am and already one of those days.

Walls in Children's Books and Shows

Here is the question. Have you ever, in real life, seen a brick or concrete wall standing in the middle of a field? I know I haven't. Yet they are a really common feature in kids' books and tv shows. On old school sesamie street they were a common setting. Everything interesting happened over the ledge of a waist height brick wall. In Hop on Pop, many tall and small people play ball on a wall and then, inexplicably, fall off of said wall. Charlie Brown and Linus' classic place to talk is while leaning on an elbow height wall. Where do these walls come from? What are there purposes? Do they exist in the United States? Is Canada just behind in its field decorating decor? What's with all the extraneous walls?

He's going to be one of THOSE boys.

I grew up as that girl that always got pestered by the boys in school. Perhaps it was the irresistable long red braid. Or the adrenaline of ducking when my feirce temper took hold and I swung around to confront my adversary with flashing green eyes. Or perhaps it is the unfortunate fact that I emit a small, high pitched "ah!" when poked or otherwise startled.

My son, at the ripe old age of 15 months, discovered this entertaining feature of his mother's reflexes. He poked the bit of skin sticking out between my pants and my shirt and I shreiked "ah!" He was exilerated. He ran around to the front of me, eyes ablaze with mischeif and giggled. Then he poked me in the arm and said "ah!". For the last two months, this has been a regular part of our day. Sometimes he actually surprises me. Sometimes he prompts me if I forget to exclaim properly when I see him coming.

I have started telling him that he is a tease, but I didn't really think he understood what I meant. Last week, I was sitting in the computer chair, typing, and he snuck up behind me and poked me in the back. I gave an obligatory startled "ah!". He ran around the chair, grinned and said "Tease."

W . . . W . . . W . . . Willy Waterloo . . .

Okay, so I hate Dr. Seuss' ABC book. Although I enjoy many of his works, this particular book leaves me cold. And do you want to know why? Because the metre is inconsistent, and often aukward. I know that the man wrote a million books, so I should really give him some slack on this front. But his is presently my son's FAVORITE book (next to the evil Disney ABC book I was given "A is for Ariel, buy the Little Mermaid. B is for Belle, buy Beauty and the Beast, too, and the special edition DVD, the Christmas special, the matching stroller, chair, backpack, read-along book, doll, playset and fly to Disneyland to meet the princesses for yourself"), and so i read it a thousand times a day. I was seriously SO annoyed with this that I was thinking about it while sewing last night after my son went to bed.

I think that if you are going to write nonsense verse and take the liberty to invent half of the words and creatures in your work, you should be able to fit them into the metrical structure you have set out for yourself. Its only fair to parents everywhere.

Elizabethtown

If I was still 16, I would rent this movie once a month and watch it with my friends at a sleepover until I had every line and scene memorized. It is that kind of a movie. For those of you who are not that familliar with me, other movies that have had this honour have been : Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, the Matrix, Zoolander, the Royal Tenebaums, Mystery Men . . . a pretty quirky lot of films. It is what Owen Wilson would write if he was a little bit less nihilistic and wanted to do something "cute".

The movie stars Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst, as a couple who serendipidously meet on an airplane on the way to his dad's memorial service. He must wade through family politics to get his dad cremated and brought back to Oregon instead of buried in the family plot in Louisville, Kentucky. On top of this he is dealing with the humiliation of utterly failing to design the next big shoe, and staying at a hotel that has been invaded by a week long frat-style-pre-wedding party. Kirsten Dunst is just a good old southern girl who steals his heart with her charm, her winning smile, and her down to earth take on life.

It has classic scenes, like the one where the main character's cousin's band reunites for his dad's memorial service and releases a giant paper mache bird which lights on fire and sets off the sprinkler system in the hall. Or the scene where the main character becomes buddy buddy with the guy who is holding his week-long pre-wedding bash at his hotel (Chuck and Cindy -- Live Life). Or the one where he shows a room of disobedient children a video in which a brawny construction worker asks "If I blow up this house, will you listen to your mom and dad?"

It is not roll on the ground funny, but it is a quirky and enthralling film. I really enjoyed it, and I'm picky about romantic comedies. So give it a try, you just might like it.

Oh, and if you want to do a double feature of Kirsten Dunst romantic comedies, rent Wimbledon, also a great film. With a great leading man whose acting I love, but whose name I can't remember. Anyway, enjoy.

Saskatchewan Temperment

About a week ago, there was a major fire in a potash mine in southern Saskatchewan. Fortunately, all 72 miners found their way to safe haven areas within the mine and waited out the fire. This was quite an amazing and dramatic story, so of course the media wanted to interview the miners and hear their stories.

I listened to several of these interviews throughout the day on CBC. One was on the local afternoon show and the other was on As It Happens, and as I listened to them, I marvelled at the level headed and relaxed Saskatchewan temperment. Here is an example of my paraphrase of part of the interview:

Interviewer: So, how did it feel to be caught in the mine for 22 hours, waiting to be rescued?

Miner: Well, you know, we knew that we were in a safe place, so it was okay. We got kind of bored after a while, so we played some cards and talked a lot. We weren't that worried.

Interviewer: What about your wife? How did she react?

Miner: I'm on the mine safety board, so she knows all about the safety procedures in the mine, so she wasn't too worried. We could phone out to tell everyone we were okay.

I had to laugh a bit. This was such a dramatic and exciting story, but they couldn't get any juicy emotional tape from anyone. It was all calm, levelheaded responses. No choking back tears. No harrowing stories. Just some guys who happened to make it through a major fire and come out alive. But that's their job, eh. Its not like anyone died or anything, and we get a week off work. Why don't you all calm down and go have a beer already?

I love Canada.

The sum total of my creative output for the week.

I would just like to announce to you all that I have once more begun my quest to be creative. I will attempt to post some of my creative endevours on my blog every week to motivate me and to receive your wonderful praise and adoration (ready Shawn and Kris and Anna? I'm counting on you, my ONLY commenters). Okay, you don't have to actually give me huge accolades or anything, but I think this week you will be amazed at my creative output. I have been SO productive. Who says that having a toddler reduces your time to be creative. Ha. Ready? Set? Here it is:

Avian Acrobatics

There is a small airshow taking place in my back yard the last few days. I don't know what is happening, but the birds are going crazy. There are several hundred of them sitting in the trees all around my neigbourhood. Then as if on cue, they will all start flying around and around in circles back and forth from one tree to another. Its as if they are playing some sort of mysterious bird game, or casting a spell on the trees, or trying to keep the planet rotating properly. I couldn't get a picture of them in mid-flight, because there are too many trees in the background for you to see them, but here's a few shots that will give you an idea of the number of birds I'm talking about.

The Woman I Swore I Would Never Be . . .

I Swore that when I had children I would never be that woman who:

- sits in the back seat of the car with her child
- has nothing interesting to say at a party social function, but just sort of stares at her child
- takes her child out with a sticky face and hands
- opens packages in the grocery store before paying for them to feed her child
- forgets to bring the baby and extra set of clothes
- lets their child go out in stained clothing
- wipes snot from her child's nose with her fingers
- lets her child run around at other people's house in just a diaper on a hot day
- breastfed in public
- yelled at her child
- lost her temper over petty things
- stopped doing things she loved just becuase she had children
- wished that someone else would take their child for a few hours
- complained about how little time they had when they were at home all day

I am sad to report that my son in only 16 months and I am that woman.

A Beautiful Moment

Every night, I change the cat's litter. I take my little bag of remnants outside and place them in the garbage bin on my back deck. And that's when it happens. The moment. I close the garbage lid and I look out at the sky, the trees, and my backyard. I take a deep breath and smell the air. I experience peace and calm, with abseloutely no responsiblility or pressure to do anything except enjoy the beauty I find around me. It truly is a beautiful moment.

My Grandmother's Quilts

While I was visiting Winnipeg I spent time with my sister Donna and with my brother Derrick. As is usually the case in such situations, I was loaned the spare bed and some extra blankets to sleep myself and my toddler (isn't he cute?). In and of itself, this is a wholely unsurprising turn of events.

But a cool thing happened. Both of the quilts I was given to sleep on were ones that had been hand made by our grandmother. The quilt to the left belongs to Derrick. The one below and to the right belongs to Donna.

They are not particularly remarkable quilts in any other way. Neither quilt has the kind of complex pattern or artistically chosen colours that would win a quilting contest, or land it in a heritage quilt museum. They would never be pictured in a quilting magazine. They are importatnt to me, however.

It was the memory of these quilts (as the youngest sibling by many years I never received one) that sparked my own interest in quilting. These quilts reach across time. When I slept with them wrapped around me, I felt as if I was wrapped in my grandmother's embrace. Her hands spent hours carefully stitching each square together, and then joining those squares and quilting through all the fabric. She must have thought of each of her grandchildren as she made their quilt, perhaps praying for them as she worked. These quilts contain her time, her prayers and her love.

These quilts also reminded me of something that is important to me right now. I am seeking a new creative outlet, something that is feasable as a stay at home mom to a busy toddler. Quilting is something I can do bit by bit, square by square, stitch by stitch.

I realized, as I looked at these quilts, that my grandmother has her own quirky eye for colour and pattern. You can't see it, but each fabric in Donna's quilt has a different texture. She was not a great artist, but she expressed her creativity every day of her life. She did not feel the pressure to do something that would be placed in a museum. It was enough to simply make something that she thought was nice and servicable. This is the kind of practical creativity that was common in past generations of women. The kind of creativity that I can embrace, and hopefully enjoy.
One day, as each of my children leaves my bed and graduates to their own room, I hope to be able to send a quilt of their own with them. One that they can use and enjoy. Maybe one day they will cherish it, and feel my embrace as they wrap it around them each night.

Not a SINGLE message while I was gone!

Oh well. Stay tuned for the new and improved Life and Times of Jill with PICTURES! Now, all I have to do is load the software that came with my camera and figure out how to use it . . .

We're not in right now, but please leave a message . .

. . . after this post and I'll get back to you just as soon as I can.

Well, my few and faithful readers, I'm going to Winnipeg for two weeks. I may or may not get a chance to post while I'm in the Peg, so I'll probably talk to y'all in a few weeks.

Have a great New Years!

Christmas and Labour

About a week before Christmas, I began to think of the Christmas story in a new light. I was thinking about what it must have been like for Mary to be in labour that night. Was she already having contractions as they went from Inn to Inn? Was there an edge of desperation in this search? Was Joseph just hoping she could hang on a little longer, stay on the donkey long enough for them to find some place to stay? Did Mary's impending birth and the mess and noise involved suddenly change Innkeeper's minds, so that they had "no room"?

Who delivered baby Jesus? There is no midwife, or other female mentioned in the story, so one must assume that Joseph the humble carpenter delivered the baby of his bride-to-be in a stable surrounded by horses and cows. I suspect that neither of them, especially Joseph, had previous experience with childbirth. It must have been a somewhat harrowing experience.

And then, after all that, when Mary was exhausted and elated and trying to figure out how to nurse the baby, there were shepherds and sheep everywhere who wanted to see the baby. Did she want them to go away so she could get some sleep? Was she strong enough to greet them? Were the shepherds loud and boisterous or gentle and respectful? Did they help Joseph clean up the stable and get everything sorted out?

All these questions have started bouncing around in my head. But the image that stays with me the most is one of a young girl, in labour, riding a donkey. She is trying to stay calm and focused. She knows they will find a place to stay soon. She trusts that God will not allow his son to be born in a ditch or the middle of a city street. But it is looking more and more hopeless as time goes on. And the pains are coming faster, and she is trying to contain the pain and not be overwhelmed by this full body experience until they get to a safe place.

There is all this unspoken fear and suspense and determination behind the story. All this pain and mess and reality behind the simple words, "While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn."

My Two Cents on the Child Care Issue

We here in Canada are in the middle of an election right now and one of the issues on the table is a proposal for a National Child Care Program. The former government, the Liberals, were planning to create a national subsidized Day Care program. Now that they are electioneering they are calling it and "Early Learning and Child Care Program". They are saying that they would like all Canadians to have access to the best quality care for their children.

As a stay at home Mom, I find this slightly offensive. Are they suggesting that a paid government employee can give my child better quality care than I can? That just because he or she has a degree in Early Childhood Education they are more qualified to raise my son than I, his mother? That he will learn more being in a regimented programmed environment with multiple children his age than he will spending time dialoguing and reading one-on-one with me, or helping and observing me bake, clean, cook, socialize and shop?

I am not saying that it is not important for there to be good quality day care for those who are interested in going back to work. I am just wondering why it is fair for billions of dollars to be put into a child care program which excludes those who choose to care for their own children. It seems to me that this is yet another way in which parents who choose to care for their children are subtly demeaned by Canadian society. If we were really "good" people we would want our children to be a part of this "early learning" program and get back to being productive members of society by rejoining the workforce.

Doesn't this suggest an underlying social agenda? One that encourages all Canadians to have families where both parents work and the children go to state run Day Care and then to state run schools. An agenda that teaches children from one year of age onwards the norms and values that the state desires to promote, as opposed to any ethics or beliefs a parent might wish to pass on to their child.

Personally, I am not up for this agenda. I think it is silly of Paul Martin to accuse the Conservative Party of having an "hidden agenda" when they offer to give all parents of children under 6 money to spend on the child care method of their choice. Parents can use the money to subsidize their Day Care expenses, to pay a babysitter, to enrich their single income family standard of living, or, if they really want to, to buy beer and popcorn. It seems to me that giving every family money means giving every family a choice. Yes, such a plan does support stay at home parents. But it also equally supports parents who go back to work and want to pay for another child care alternative. In my mind that is a equitable system. It is a system that supports authentic diversity as opposed to covert hegemony.

Snow Days -- Part Two

DO NOT READ THIS POST UNTIL YOU HAVE READ PART ONE! IT WILL RUIN THE PUNCHLINE. CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SCROLL DOWN TO THE LONG ANECDOTE UNDER THE TITLE "SNOW DAYS - PART ONE". THEN RETURN AND READ THIS SAD AND SORRY CONCLUSION.

So, my husband goes to get the hood of the car unfrozen and get the car started. You know what happened? He got someone to drive him over there. He got into the car. And it STARTED! No need to pry the hood open, no need to get a boost . . . some people have all the luck!

What Kind of Princess are You? - Beautiful Artwork (Original Music is BACK!!!)

The Warrior PrincessYou are strong, courageous, and dynamic, a woman of action. You have an iron will and a sharp tongue. Indecisive, weak, or wishy-washy people test your patience. You tend to grow bored quickly and yearn for excitement.Role Models: Brunhilde/The Valkyries, XenaYou are most likely to: Lead your people to victory against an army of orcs.
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Snow Days -- Part 1 -- Wednesday Morning

Remember my post yesterday about the snow? Well, it is still snowing. The roads are a mess. You can only drive in the tracks of other vehicles, and then only if you can manage to get out of your driveway without being stuck, because there is over a foot of snow now. The roads in town haven't been cleared yet because the plows are still busy trying to get the highway cleared.

Today was our playgroup's Christmas party, and the last playgroup until January. I decided that I had to go because I missed last week, and if you miss too many weeks you get out of the loop. So my intrepid son and I drove to playgroup with no problems. We almost got stuck backing out of our driveway, but with just a bit of a kick at the packed snow around us, I got us free. We just didn't stop on the way there, and we kept the car in second gear.

Everything was all good. We had fun at the Christmas party. Andrew wandered around and enjoyed to toys for once -- he is really just getting old enough to have fun. I sat and drank coffee and visited -- I am just really starting to get to know people.
Santa came, and he got a book wrapped up so it seemed "new". He only tried to unplug the christmas tree twice, and didn't try to steal anyone esle's presents, so it was a succcess.

Until we got out to the car. Then I realized I had left my lights on, and the battery was dead. So I found another woman who offered to jump the car. At which point I discovered that the hood was frozen shut. No matter how much I chipped away at the hood, I could not get it to open enough to actually pop the hood and get at the catch that opens the hood.

So the woman offered to give me a ride. Which I thought was cool, except that she was also giving another woman and her child a ride, and there were no back seats in her van. So Andrew and I got the seats, and both of their kids sat in the back without seatbelts. I didn't feel very comfortable with that, so I ended up walking. Yes, WALKING, with my 25 lb toddler who was not wearing his full snow gear and had exposed legs. I tucked his legs into my jacket and waded through the foot and a half of unplowed snow on the four blocks home. It was my workout for the day, I tell you!

Now I and Andrew are at home and warm, and the problem of our car has been left with my husband. We'll see what happens.

Corner Gas

I don't have tv, although I own a television set and a DVD player, it is not hooked up to any means of receiving a television signal. But I have been hearing about this show called Corner Gas, which is about Saskatchewan. When I was in the video store the other day, they had last season's episodes on DVD, so I decided to rent one.

My husband and I wathced all 6 episodes in a day and a half. It is such a funny show, and so many of the details are so true of Saskatchewan. It is sort of like a Canadian version of Seinfeld. There are 8 main characters who all live in Dog River, Saskatchewan. The main place of action is the gas station and attached diner. It is basically just about these quirky characters lives.

Brent Butt, the producer / writer / main character is brilliant. The show is full of funny plot lines, quirky characters and great dialogue. One of my favorite techniques that is used by the show is the "flashback" or "dream sequence". It is used to flash to what the character's are thinking, or to what else is happening in town. There are also some great cameos, like when Brent kicks the Tragically Hip out of his garage when they are pracicing. They say, "But we were just working on lyrics" and he replies "Don't tell me what the poets are doing".

I also like the Saskatchewan humour that is added into it. For example, in one episode Brent's mom makes nanaimo bars. But she insists on calling them "Nanaimo - type Saskatchewan bars". That is Sasktachewan through and through. Or when the police officers pretend not to know that the rest of their baseball team is drinking, and the team pretends not to know that they know that the officers know, just so no one will have an akward moment. It's pure Canadian, especially prairie, politeness.

If you have never seen this show, all I can say is get a hold of a copy and watch it. It is so funny that we have now watched the entire first two seasons in the last week. Out of all 26 ish episodes, there was only one we didn't think was hilarious. This is Canadian humour at its best. Enjoy.